Numb

When feeling numb turns into number
Remaining months, I count ’til December
Dare I, care I not, for planting my blunder
Of continuing this life, ain’t even sober

Bear with me, it says
Who is it? Drags my four legs into dreading days

Days filled with void,
Emptiness rushes back in
Each second I avoid,
It ruptures my skin

For my heart I have lost
Neither my soul nor I found its pathway crossed
My heart tossed itself away at all cost
Never it recovers, covered with frost

Even if I regain my conscience
Tremble upon all my patience
I have abandoned myself, with nothing but numbness
It crawls under my lungs making me breathless

Nothing, nothing
I’ve become so numb, I can’t even sing

The first of my ongoing project of 100 poems of agony. Written in 2018.