yoga – healing through yoga

Pincha Mayurasana #ashtanga

This pose has taught me a lot. With worsening covid-19 situation in Indonesia, uncertainties in many things in my life loom large. I cancelled several trips. I wasn’t able to travel to study yoga and so on. But what keeps me grounded on most days is the ashtanga practice. There are days I am beyondContinue reading “Pincha Mayurasana #ashtanga”

I got something I don’t know…

It comes again. Every couple of years, I would get a Radiohead addiction which basically means that I would listen to their songs over, over and over again. Indeed that indicates something: I am depressed and finding a solace in songs which I can relate too well: Radiohead’s. You name it, the slip-up yet theContinue reading “I got something I don’t know…”

Detailed account at last #MentalHealthUpdate

Trigger warning: what you are about to read below is a detailed personal account of mental health issues, avoid reading if necessary. It’s crazy how an innocent pill could make me crippled in bed and three days after, I am still experiencing its adverse effects, albeit not much as the first day. What’s going on?Continue reading “Detailed account at last #MentalHealthUpdate”

It cuts deeper

Did I just go back to square one when it comes to mental illnesses? Oh no honey, you were far back, regressing to about minus 100. Yep, that’s how I have been feeling lately. The agony cuts so deep, even deeper than the previous ones that I had years before. I have been suspecting aContinue reading “It cuts deeper”

uncensored raw thoughts

These days have been rough when it comes to my mental health conditions. I have been experiencing what I termed “imbalance-turbulence” literally 24/7 even in my sleep. I could barely sleep except if I took strongest anti-anxiety pill, yet I kept waking up to life that my mind tried to avoid. Most of the times,Continue reading “uncensored raw thoughts”

wake up!!!!

For one, life is an endless pursuitOf a cocktail of thingsOf which are all impermanent When one wakes upOne realises that it is a futile pursuitOne notices that immaturityBut one shall not seek a revengeAgainst oneself ‘Til then one is merely scratchingThe limited perception – misleadingOne into believing what is love and loving Something isContinue reading “wake up!!!!”

after practice #ashtanga

i sighed heavilyfinally i was done for the dayshower is ready it callsyet, i slumped my body into bedthe scorching sun didn’t raise me a little the last three hours i confronted myselfjust me, my body and my bloody emotionsi surrendered those frustrating temptationsto go further, be better, more refined but what is more refinedContinue reading “after practice #ashtanga”

Time has stopped

I have just lived over a quarter of century and crawled approaching my 30s. Time flies, huh? Yet today feels really weird though. In fact, not just today but yesterday’s night seemed endless. It felt like the time wasn’t moving at all, like a thousand year old corpse, or the clock hanging on the wallContinue reading “Time has stopped”

Setting myself free

Sometimes we forget that we always have control over our own sanity. Today was unpleasant for me and my feelings. At very least a tiny bit in which in no time I should be able to move forward (I hope so!). Each day, I am evolving, changing, be it better or worse, it doesn’t matterContinue reading “Setting myself free”

What’s going on with me? #ashtanga #nadishodana #mentalhealth

Well, hello dear blog. I must admit that it’s very hard to pick it up again after I left for a couple of months. I tried to commit to post at least two posts per month but it didn’t go very well. I was on hiatus for a good two months. And writing this againContinue reading “What’s going on with me? #ashtanga #nadishodana #mentalhealth”